Young and old, male and female - all of humanity should be united by the moustache this Movember. We certainly have been. Here, we invite you to acquaint yourself with the cultivated features of our diverse people. If you find yourself inspired by their stories then please, toss them a few shillings, and every shiny penny will go to the Movember charity.
Mr. Bryan’s tale of upward social mobility is thanks in large part to his careful development of a fine, English moustache. The last in a long line of coal miners from Scunton-on-Scar, dispossessed during the Thatcher years, Anthony put down his pickaxe and took up a quill. Subsequently, he became a playwright whose works provide a stark vision of life in the far North, beyond Stoke-on-Trent.
As one would expect from a well-bred Weston bloodline, Scott has a voracious appetite for the finer things in life. Indeed, it is not unknown for our ‘tached tearaway to run with (Derbyshire’s finest) Don Valley mink hounds in the morning, and be holding court in his St James’s Street club in time for tiffin. Bravo! Scott also excels in leatherwork.
The assumed 19th child of Serbia’s Archduke Wayne ‘Archy’ Hohkenberg III, young Alexander and his elder brother fled the Balkans and grew up in the Park Avenue penthouse of their adoptive father – wealthy New York businessman Phillip Drummond. Following a successful career in musical theatre, Obradovic now lives in Wolverhampton, retaining the moustache from his successful run in the Mexican adaptation of Oklahoma.
A man of the town, Josef Turner, esq. is a common sight in many of England’s finer establishments, and his choice of facial accoutrement is testament to this. When not occupying the role of high-society playboy, he lives on an estimable inheritance from a relative in deepest South America, who made their name in cougar husbandry.
Once the proud owner of a shocking shock of red hair, descended from Irish nobility, Ian ‘The Cad’ Callaghan divides his time between Walsall and Biarritz. Combining the lure of his well-groomed growth with his considerable ‘lucky charms’, Ian enjoys free ‘accommodation’ wherever he travels, and hasn’t picked up a bar tab since 1989. Hound.
Progeny of a Studio 54 dancer and Mansfield’s second-largest haberdasher, Timothy’s natural, twinkle-toed grace and button-down practicality make him a mustachioed man’s manly man for all seasons. At home in heavy-duty waders, at ease in a range of swimwear, ‘Tim’ enjoys the challenge of partridge.
David ‘the man with no name’ Shaw finally settled in the foothills of Shropshire, after years spent in the wilderness of nearby market town Welshpool – where he tied the local ruffian to a tree and successfully ran a pub for twelve months. Despite sporting a moustache that’s not to be messed with, David returned his firearms certificate in 2004 and now volunteers at Shrewsbury’s no. 1 rabbit sanctuary.
Reserved gentleman of leisure by day, Capt. Bayliss draws on his distinguished military career in the 13th Battalion, Tembleigh-under-Loaf, for his nocturnal pursuits. After discovering an unholy (not to mention inconvenient) coterie of vampires in a local graveyard, his former after-hours hand of whist has been replaced by hunting the undead – his pencil moustache the last thing they see.
A fierce proponent of equal rights, Ms. Daniels is not one to let gender stand in the way of nurturing a luxurious length of upper-lip hair. She enjoys walks in the country with her betrothed (himself a gentlemen of impressive wealth and standing), and attending rather raucous social functions.
Sent to Coventry at an early age for crimes undisclosed, Mr. Webb is a gentleman highwayman of some little infamy. Still wanted in a number of shires and counties, he relies on pseudonyms and an ever-changing array of moustache-based disguises. Indeed, we remain unsure whether Samuel Webb is his real name, but we are always careful to keep his gloved fingers away from your charity donations.